Sometimes you are on the mountain top. Sometimes you are in the valley.
I've been in the valley for past few months.
On January 3, I lost the love of my life, Mike Hoffman.
He died from cancer, just over a week after finding out that that was what was causing his weight loss and pain. I had known him only 2 1/2 years, but it's not an exaggeration to say that he was one of the most wonderful people I've ever known, and that he made a larger impact on my life than can be explained. Our time together was extraordinary, hard to describe in just a few paragraphs. He was a person who embodied the meaning of love - he cared about people in a rare and special way. He could make light of life's situations while having an edge to his words that could put you in your place, but always, ALWAYS, being kind and letting you know he loved you.
I know in my heart that God meant us to be together, that this was a part of His plan, that there was a purpose to our relationship. I will love Mike and miss him forever.
Following this sadness, I also lost my father, Johnny Hagen. Unlike Mike, he had lived to an age when you expect these things to happen. His loss is deeply felt by all who loved him.
So today I'm waiting for the next chapter in my life. I can't go on yet - there is much to do with the settling of an estate, the decisions to make, and waiting for spring. It's been a long, hard winter, and it's not over yet. The road ahead is not revealed - I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do when I get there.
I'll continue with my creative pursuits, there's no doubt about that! I just hope for peace and for God's guidance as I continue my journey. I see the mountain top in the distance.
I see changes.
And up ahead, I see spring.